January 16, 2005

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  The answer to WEDNESDAY’s “More Dirty Minds” was a TELESCOPE.  Here are the clues for today:

  
  

  
  
  1. I can whip a big pussy.
     
  2. I can stick my head in a pussy.
     
  3. I let people watch me in the act.

  
  

  
  Anyways… As always, THINK CLEANLY and HAPPY GUESSING! xD
  

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  OUCH.  @_@

  
  

  Ashlee: All Apologies

  
  

   

  
  

  By Charlie Amter

  
  

  Is it possible 78,000 football fans at Miami’s Pro Player stadium simply didn’t care for Ashlee Simpson (news)’s vocal stylings when she was rounded booed during the Orange Bowl (news – web sites) halftime show?

  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  

  • News: Boo birds attack Ashlee • News: Ashlee gets live in ’05 • News: The Ashlee Simpson CD swap E! Online Photo

  
  

  Not according to the singer.

  
  

  
  

  Simpson again tried to spin–if not hoedown–her way out of a national embarrassment this week by telling MTV the many reasons why she believes she was the subject of a hugely negative reaction among the football faithful watching USC and Okalahoma during the Jan. 3 BCS Championship Game.

  
  

  
  

  The raven-haired popster, who blamed last year’s Saturday Night Live lip-synching debacle on (a) her drummer and (b) a bad case of acid reflux, came up with a whole bunch of explanations for the booing this time out, and none had to do with her shrieking, voice-cracking performance.

  
  

  
  

  “There were no ear monitors when we went on stage,” Jessica’s little sis told MTV.com.

  
  

  
  

  “And trying to sing in a stadium where you can’t hear yourself is kinda hard,” the 21-year old added.

  
  

  
  

  In the end, though, she did manage to soldier through a live rendition of “La La,” a tune off her debut disc Autobiography. But if a bad sound system is at fault for her closing boos, what explains the jeers at the start of her performance?

  
  

  
  

  “I was facing the Oklahoma Sooners [which had a bigger crowd on hand], and I was rooting for USC, and they played a clip of it, so maybe it was that those people didn’t like me,” she postulated.

  
  

  
  

  The singer even offered up a strange sort of apology. “Maybe they were booing at me, maybe they were booing at the halftime show because the whole thing sucked. If they didn’t like the performance, and that’s what it was about, then sorry to them.”

  
  

  
  

  But apologies are simply not enough for some music fans, who recently started circulating an online petition demanding that Simpson quit her music career posthaste.

  
  

  
  

  “We, the undersigned, are disgusted with Ashlee Simpson’s horrible singing and hereby ask her to stop. Stop recording, touring, modeling and performing. We do not wish to see her again,” the Stop Ashlee Simpson petition reads. “She cannot match the sound of her voice that can be found on her CDs, when she sings live. She simply yells the words (sometimes the wrong ones) into the mic.” So far, more than 14,000 people have endorsed the sentiment.

  
  

  
  

  Last year, an organization called H.O.P.E offered a Ashlee Simpson CD swap, in which former Simpson fans in New York could exchange their Simpson discs for a CD of what the group calls “one of higher entertainment quality.”

  
  

  
  

  Simpson can only hope crowds for her upcoming tour will be more sympathetic–the jaunt kicks off Feb. 18 at Los Angeles’ Universal Amphitheater.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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  excuses, excuses, excuses…

  
  

  While I don’t hate her, i never cared too much for her to begin with.  I think that for her sake, she should just leave the scene before it gets any worse.

  
  

   

  
  

  I just checked PetitionOnline‘s website and found the Ashley Simpson Petition.  Here’s the link (in case you want to join into the Ashley bashing )

  
  

  As of this writing, there are 31,491 signatures.

  
  

  JEEBUS. @_@

  
  

   

  
  

  I FORGOT IF I POSTED THIS

  
  

  BEFORE OR NOT BUT…

  
  

  If your GF says “don’t let me eat ANYTHING this week…”

  
  

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  Reply to: anon-51976073@craigslist.org Date: Sat Dec 11 08:23:13 2004 ..do yourself a favor, go ahead and call her a liar and ignore her plea for assistance. Or get ready for Psycho Drama Hour when you take your valuable time to render requested aid. Last night my girlfriend came tearing into the room all jacked up and said “OH! MY! GOD! I! GAINED! THREE!! POUNDS!!! Don’t let me eat ANYTHING for at least four days, okay?” “Sure baby, no prob.” I said and went back to ESPN. Seemed silly to me because she is a professional model and waifer thin but whatever. I quit trying to find rational thinking in female behavior around age seven. So this morning she shows up on the couch with a small bowl of sliced peaches and fresh strawberries for breakfast, just to test me I guess. Almost annoyed me that she wasn’t making a better effort but I’m a good guy so I didn’t react. Other than to provide the help she asked for just a few hours before. “What’s up Pizza Hut,” I said “sleep good?” She stopped the fork in mid-lift, delicious peach slice dangling. Looking over at me with a (fake) confused look, she asks “Wha…what did you just say?” “I said, how did you sleep, my sweet tub of cookie dough?” She dropped the fork back into the bowl and even I was imnpressed with my skill. “Tub of cookie dough!??” she said, looking even more shocked, for effect I guess. “Look Krispy Kreme, will you pipe down until the Jetsons are over?” I mean seriously, I did my job so let me enjoy the crazy space antics of George and Co, in peace. But no. Now she stands up, facing me, mouth hanging open and eyes wide in mock horror. She stood staring at me like I had just dropped in from space too. What the hell I thought good-naturedly, I’ll play it out. “That’s nice Jumbotron,” I said “but I won’t need you until the game comes on this afternoon.” Her eyes got huge, mouth open wide with a small squeak and then she turned and ran to the bedroom sobbing uncontrollably. Oh Jesus. What now, I wondered as I enjoyed the peaches and strawberries. But despite my curiosity I respected her privacy and left her alone to cry it out. Soon she stormed out of the bedroom with her overnight bag, heading for the door at top speed. She REALLY was over-playing it a bit but I relaized it was important to let her know I am committed to her happiness and would spare no effort to help her. “Hey Amtrak, would ya toss me the paper on your way out of the station?” I called out over my shoulder between bites. “Where you off to? Is there a cake sale at Sams Club?” “I HATE YOU!!!!” she shrieked and I laughed before replying “and I love both of you too, Ben & Jerry.” It was getting hard to keep a straight face and I was starting to really enjoy this helpful side of me. But it turns out she was really pissed, she leaves, slamming the door on her way out. From the driveway I hear a distant “BASTARD!” which is when I began to suspect she had gone all sideways on me. Apparently she really believes I did something wrong here. I called her a few hours later after cartoons were over and she just kept hanging up after yelling juvenile, profane insults into the phone. Jesus – women, complete nut jobs just waiting to go off. And if you don’t give them a reason, no problem. They’ll happily make one up. Guess I’ll have to microwave my own cheese dip and chips today. No big deal. At least it will be quiet. it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

  
  

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  Enough of my craziness.. til tomrrow..
  LATERS GATORS

  • 3:01 am
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