August 11, 2004

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  The answer to yesterday's "More Dirty Minds" was an AMBULANCE.  Here are the clues for today:

  
  

  
  
  1. You should get me wet before your turn me on.
     
  2. When I grind your meat, I'm noisy.
     
  3. Sticking your fingers inside me could be dangerous.

  
  

  As always, THINK CLEANLY and HAPPY GUESSING! xD
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  [YOU] KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS...

  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  	I wonder what the Ultimate Prize for an Asian TV Show would be...I know what mine would be ... poor lennie...www.planetlennie.com losing his cat and retiring his comic strip in 2 weeks...
  	Posted 8/9/2004 at 12:10 AM by sanfrangiants06 - delete - block user

  
  Aye jon, your obsession with Boa is freakishly freaky... O.o
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  	i think that calvin and hobbes ending is too cliche. I'm getting tired of it! How politically incorrect is that gameshow? Wow... and I thought Family Guy was wrongfully banned..
  	Posted 8/9/2004 at 12:33 AM by CaKaLusa - delete - block user

  
  I know whatcha mean chris, it's like whenever something ends, thats the way they end it by.
  And Family Guy was banned?  All this time I just that that comedy central bought it from Fox and then after a while they didn't make any new ones... @_@
  wow, I guess they are right, you DO learn something new every day... =X
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  	Even I admit, that game show is so JACKED UP..I saw the previews for it..It's like fear factor times 10..something like that..I feel bad for the illegal mexican immigrants..but then again in a way I don't..less dirty mexicans in america! =X
  	Posted 8/9/2004 at 12:49 AM by VietRiceGirl - delete - block user

  
  interesting kelly... I've never seen previews for it, i guess it's not in my area or something.. O_O
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  	AHHA thats so funny. the losers should be thrown over the border. speakinf of which, itd be funny if there was a lake of fire between the borders. no new mexicans.
  	Posted 8/9/2004 at 5:46 AM by lumpiablog - delete - block user

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  	whoops that last line doesnt make sense. no new texans. <NO
  	Posted 8/9/2004 at 5:46 AM by lumpiablog - delete - block user

  
  dang shaun, thats a tad harsh.. O.o
  And not just new Texans, but Californians and all the -ians of the states connected to the Mexican border.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  	wow i just read yesterday's entry and i was like the heck?? that guy cut of it crotch? haha must not be funny to the guys though >_< anyways, gtg now later dude.
  	Posted 8/9/2004 at 9:02 AM by greenhighlighter - delete - block user

  
  But Monica, he did it to himself, so if he's crazy enough to do that because his wife wouldn't have sex with him, then he deserved it.. LOL
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  	heheh. that would be the lowlight of my day : OP haha jk jk  ^_^
  	Posted 8/9/2004 at 12:22 PM by shenny - delete - block user

  
  Aww.. shenny make me sad now
  haha, kidding
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  man that saddens me...im mexican...wow...poor mexican just trying to live in this free country...and the exploit it.. asses :rolleyes: and i dont appriciate his comment <TABLE class=blogbody style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #292421" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=1 width="100%" border=0> <TBODY> <TR> <TD width="5%"> <TD vAlign=top> AHHA thats so funny. the losers should be thrown over the border. speakinf of which, itd be funny if there was a lake of fire between the borders. no new mexicans. <TR> <TD width="5%">  <TD>Posted 8/9/2004 at 5:46 AM by lumpiablog buh i know we are intitled to our own oppinion...so yeah...:rolleyes:

  Posted 8/9/2004 at 4:05 PM by MiSs_Tequila - delete - block user

  
  yeah, it is sad how so many people were calling in and were willing to go through all the pain and humuliation just to be able to live in 'the land of opportunity'. =X
  and like you said gavi, we're all entitiled to our own opinions.

  
  

  Just mine's is the correct one!
  haha... kidding... =X
  
  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  	lay mami & dadi hai hong kong lay gar?
  	Posted 8/9/2004 at 5:36 PM by muntedkowhai - delete - block user

  
  

  hey puiyi,
  gnou mami hai canton lay ga, gnou dadi hai macau lay ga. =P
  
  btw, You know how hard it was to sound out "my" in cantonese phonetically? O.o
  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  	The highlight of my day was turning on the ligh O_O... meow...
  	Posted 8/9/2004 at 9:51 PM by freekieEEE - delete - block user

  
  

  
  wow kelly, and if you *REALLY* love to turn on lights, then everyday must be a good day for you then! </sarcasm>
  aww.. =[
  
  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  	You know whats even worse? The highlight of the day being a visit to www.xanga.com/aznbro85
  	Posted 8/10/2004 at 12:16 AM by whonose - delete - block user

  
  

  
  Well luke, if its so bad, you should stop coming here then
  
  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  	you want my job, you can have it.... it's so.... arghhhh! we can switch, i'll have UCSF, and you can have 7-11. that way you wouldn't have to travel so far to work.... good idea eric.... when can i start?
  	Posted 8/10/2004 at 10:04 AM by LeEbO0901 - delete - block user

  
  

  leanne, I was thinking more on the lines of a second job, seeing how I got my hours cut and all... And wouldn't it be like.. SO FUN to be co-workers?
  
  kidding.. i CRINGE at the thought of that... =X

  
  

  
  anyways...
  

  
  

  
  

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  MAN... THATS HELLA SAVAGE! O.o

  
  

  Man Trips Over Woman; Her Family Eats Him?

  
  

  MANILA (Reuters) - A man and his two sons have been arrested on suspicion of murdering a neighbor and then eating parts of his body after he tripped over a woman relative at a dance, Philippine police said on Tuesday.

  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  The three men are suspected of stabbing neighbor Benjie Ganoy to death last month in a remote village in the southwestern island of Palawan. They ate his ears, tongue and arms after roasting the body over a fire, provincial police chief Michael Garraez said.
  

  
  

  "They stabbed him repeatedly, cut off the man's ears, pulled out his tongue and ate it," Garraez told Reuters by telephone. He was quoting a sworn statement by a witness, who said he had been forced to eat some flesh taken from the victim's arms.
  

  
  

  Garraez said there was no tradition of cannibalism in the area.
  

  
  

  He said the father had apparently been angry after Ganoy accidentally tripped over his daughter during a dance party.
  

  
  

  Police said the victim disappeared after the dance party on July 17. The witness led them to the burned body almost a week later.

  
  

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  Note to self:  Don't trip over somebody's daughter at a dance... You'll be SORRY if you do..
  
  
  
  O...M....F... GOD! 

  
  

  Can You Name All 53 States?

  
  

  LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A chain of private California schools that taught immigrants there are 53 U.S. states and four branches of the U.S. government was ordered to stop handing out phony diplomas this week, state Attorney General Bill Lockyer said on Friday.

  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  Authorities seized the assets of California Alternative High School and asked a judge to stop the company's 30 schools statewide from handing out "high school diplomas" to students dreaming of a better life through education, Lockyer said.
  

  
  

  The company charged its mainly Latino students $450 to $1,450 for a 10-week course based on a 54-page book that was riddled with errors, according to a lawsuit filed on Monday.
  

  
  

  Students learned that Congress had two houses -- the Senate for Democrats and the House for Republicans; that the U.S. flag had not been updated to reflect the addition of Alaska, Hawaii and Puerto Rico to the "original" 50 states; that the federal "administrative" branch oversees the Treasury Department (news - web sites); and that World War II occurred from 1938 to 1942.
  

  
  

  There are 50 U.S. states, including Alaska and Hawaii, who are represented on the U.S. flag. Puerto Rico is a U.S. territory, not a state. There is no "administrative" branch of the U.S. government. The three branches are judicial, executive and legislative. World War II was fought between 1939 and 1945, although the United States did not enter the war until 1941.
  

  
  

  The workbook also refers to the play, "Death of a Traveling Salesman," not Arthur Miller's classic "Death of a Salesman."
  

  
  

  The company claimed to have 78 locations nationwide and said it was actively expanding operations despite court orders in two other states that sought to block it from claiming the diplomas were "official," Lockyer said.
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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  Dayum, thats hella messed up, these people are trying hard to make it here, wasting upwards to $1450 for one of these classes, and they're teaching these folk false information and giving them fake high school diplomas. 
  Not only was it a waste of time and money, but they gave these students false hope and i'm guessing that these people will need to retake the class =X
  
  
  
  WHY KITTENS ARE EVIL...

  
  

  [As taken from Craigslist]
  
  

  
  

  Kitten vs. boyfriend - LOL
  
  

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  Reply to: anon-35283400@craigslist.org Date: Thu Jul 01 15:58:39 2004 I have a wonderful kitten. She is full of energy and loves to play with anything in sight. She will hide under the bed skirt and attack your ankles as I get into or out of bed. She will sneak under the covers and stalk my toes as I sleep. Then when I least expect she will tip over the glass of water on my headboard and douse me with cold water. Anything that dangles or springs is at her compleete mercy. My boyfriend use to like her. He now fears/hates her. We were getting a little playful in the bedroom last weekend when he decided to hide next to the bed (naked) and play "peek-a-boo". I guess my kitten thought he was playing with her because she jumped from under the bed and grabed ahold of his dangling unit. This scared my boyfriend so he jumped straight up with her still attached. He closed his legs with her still hanging on and biting so she is now scratching his ass with her hind legs and biting as hard as she can. He was trying not to hurt her when he tripped on his shoes and landed face first on the bed, bouncing just enough to give her time to jump to safety. I was trying so hard not to laugh at him and to check on her but it didn't work. I have never laughed so hard in my life. He won't come over anymore with her out and she hisses every time she sees him. He said she goes or he goes. I guess I need a new boyfriend now. I never really liked him anyhow. Good kitty.

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  @_@
  
  

  
  
  
  A FRIENDLY PSA FROM...
  

  
  

  YOUR FRIENDS AT CRAIGSLIST..

  
  

  [from The Best of Craigslist]

  
  

  WARNING!!!

  
  

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  Reply to: anon-35274458@craigslist.org Date: Thu Jul 01 14:15:24 2004 Don't Shave That Hair!!! I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold. I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea. I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over. Little did I know. I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry. Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks." Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil. As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony. Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!

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  anyways...

  
  

  Thinking about a doing a real entry tomorrow... But until then...

  
  

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  Enough of my Craziness..til tomorrow
  LATERS GATORS!

  
  

   

  
  

  P.S. Screw the 11:59PM pattern I've had going on.  I've messed up twice in one week and when school starts I don't think i'll have the time to try to get it exactly at 11:59PM. 
  
  so yeah, updates when I update, but don't worry kiddos, it'll still be daily, unless I get uberlazy (like the past few days) =

  
  

  anyways... lates!

  • 2:56 am
  • 10 Comments